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[May 21: Truth Plot]
Thomas is rather shaken.
After his morning shower, he dressed and set out for a day of errands, feeling rather good. He has things that he's working on, progress he's making. He notices a few people staring as he goes about his day, but pays it little mind at first.
He recalls a message that appeared on his phone a few days ago: The Truth will set you free.
Thomas doubts that, sincerely, as being here has helped him to escape several rather painful truths tied to his old life. He wants so badly to create a fresh start here. But he really cannot help but notice people are... really staring. Whispering if he stands still too long. What is going on? He checks himself in a shop window, but can't see anything out of place.
It gets bad enough that Thomas nearly has a panic attack and finds a wall to lean into, attempting to ground himself a bit. He needs a moment to breathe, that's all. He's heard someone whisper, Murderer. How could they possibly...?
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he swears he hears Lucille laughing.
Thomas is rather shaken.
After his morning shower, he dressed and set out for a day of errands, feeling rather good. He has things that he's working on, progress he's making. He notices a few people staring as he goes about his day, but pays it little mind at first.
He recalls a message that appeared on his phone a few days ago: The Truth will set you free.
Thomas doubts that, sincerely, as being here has helped him to escape several rather painful truths tied to his old life. He wants so badly to create a fresh start here. But he really cannot help but notice people are... really staring. Whispering if he stands still too long. What is going on? He checks himself in a shop window, but can't see anything out of place.
It gets bad enough that Thomas nearly has a panic attack and finds a wall to lean into, attempting to ground himself a bit. He needs a moment to breathe, that's all. He's heard someone whisper, Murderer. How could they possibly...?
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he swears he hears Lucille laughing.
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Date: 2016-05-18 12:27 am (UTC)"Thomas?" she asks, frowning, and reaches out a hand to him, her fingers stopping just short of his shoulder. "What's the matter? Are you alright?"
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Date: 2016-05-18 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2016-05-19 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-19 03:24 pm (UTC)"What is it?" he asks, not entirely sure he wants to know the answer. "Edith?"
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Date: 2016-05-21 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-22 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-22 01:56 am (UTC)Abruptly, she adds, "You should come back with me. We can wait until... whatever is going on gets figured out."
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Date: 2016-05-22 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-22 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-22 11:47 pm (UTC)He's grateful when they reach her building.
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Date: 2016-05-24 07:01 am (UTC)Once they're inside — a fact for which she's visibly relieved — she presses the button for the elevator, hoping that its usual unreliability will mean they're less likely to run into anyone else. Besides, it's easier, she thinks, to keep one's back to a wall that way than to take the stairs.
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Date: 2016-05-24 03:06 pm (UTC)He rubs his face, remaining silent until they reach her floor.
"I don't deserve this kindness from you. Especially you."
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Date: 2016-05-25 01:37 am (UTC)Maybe he's right, but if that's the case, she doesn't care. He saved her life even after his own death. What came before, she can't forget, but that still counts for a great deal. So does the way she feels about him, however illogical that may be.
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Date: 2016-05-25 02:31 am (UTC)"Thank you."
He finally stops long enough to push his fingers through his hair, trying to regain some sense of his crumbling composure.
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Date: 2016-05-27 02:24 am (UTC)It'll be easier said than done, but there's no one here but the two of them, no one to stare or cast judgment on something they don't know the whole truth of.
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Date: 2016-05-27 11:58 am (UTC)"I should never have brought you into our world. I wanted-- I wanted so much to be near your light. I did it without even thinking of where I would be forced to lead you."
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Date: 2016-05-29 07:08 am (UTC)She can't quite bring herself to mention Lucille directly, figuring that's better left for Thomas to do. While she's hardly going to make excuses, though — the two of them did almost kill her — she doesn't want him to be too hard on himself.
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Date: 2016-05-29 04:43 pm (UTC)The first wife he'd ever chosen for himself, and she nearly died because of him.
"I found great comfort in you, Edith. I'd been going along with our scheme for so long, I-- I didn't know how to break out of it. I didn't even consider it, before I met you. You made me want something different. Something real."
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Date: 2016-05-31 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-05-31 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-02 05:12 am (UTC)He'd died for her, in fact, and for a moment, just one brief instant, a fraction of a second, a chill runs down her spine. His blood will be on your hands, his mother's ghost had said, and in a way, she wasn't wrong.
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Date: 2016-06-03 03:05 am (UTC)Thomas tries to stop fidgeting with his hands. "Would you care for some tea?" It seems strange to offer Edith tea in her own apartment, but he wouldn't mind making a pot for the two of them.
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Date: 2016-06-03 04:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-04 01:46 am (UTC)And it will give him a moment to collect his thoughts. As Edith goes to the kitchen, Thomas tries to think of where to begin.
"Our parents were wretched, you know. Our father a brute, our mother cold. Our father was forever disappointed in me, too weak and too soft to be a son of his. He took me hunting to try to make something of me. Once he forgot me, I found my way home but fell ill. Lucille couldn't stand it."
He looks down at his hands, fidgeting again. "He died not long after that."
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Date: 2016-06-05 02:13 am (UTC)"I take it that wasn't an accident," she replies softly, of the last thing he's said, and though there are few kind thoughts she can spare for Lucille, there's no judgment in her voice. They can't help the family that they were born into, either of them.
Briefly, then, she thinks of her own father, and what he'd said to Thomas the first day they met. Even then, barely knowing him herself, it had seemed harsh. Now, she can barely imagine how awful that must have been to hear.
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Date: 2016-06-05 03:47 am (UTC)Thomas frowns, keeping his eyes ahead. If he keeps looking at Edith, he isn't sure he'll be able to get through this.
"Lucille was the only person, other than our nurse, to ever show me kindness, to care for me. And then we were separated. I did well enough, but I know she didn't go anywhere kind. When we were finally together again, all she could talk about was staying together. Staying together in the house that was finally ours. It was a decrepit mess by then, the money all gone thanks to our father."
Edith knows that part, but he finds himself recounting it to keep the momentum going.
"I wanted to leave, but I couldn't leave her. And she wouldn't leave the house."
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Date: 2016-06-06 07:31 am (UTC)However it could possibly have happened, she has Thomas to thank for that.
She steps away from the doorway, back to fixing the tea, but still glances over her shoulder when she speaks again. "I know what she was like, Thomas. And the hold she had on you."
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Date: 2016-06-07 03:54 am (UTC)His face warms faintly at the confession.
"You were... so full of life. And didn't care a moment for my title," he laughs, though it's strained. "I felt like you actually saw me, as a person. Not as a stepping stone or something to show off or-- I don't know. But after meeting you, you were all I could think about. I tangled you up in this scheme because I had no idea how else to approach you. And Lucille would never have allowed it if she... knew."
Obviously she found out. How dare he love his wife. That wasn't what they were supposed to be fore. Perhaps it's why Lucille had been so careful, and so determined, in choosing all the others.
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Date: 2016-06-09 06:23 am (UTC)Now, it isn't easy, but it was never going to be, and at least it's becoming easier.
"You had feelings for me, and she couldn't stand that."
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Date: 2016-06-09 04:21 pm (UTC)He lifts his hand to touch the faint scar underneath his eye. He has others on his chest - the wounds that killed him.
"I didn't think she would ever hurt me," he murmurs. He hadn't realized that in Lucille's mind, if she couldn't have him then no one would. A chill slithers down his back.
"I'm so sorry, Edith. I should have left with you from the depot. I should never have taken you back to Allerdale."
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Date: 2016-06-12 06:38 am (UTC)"You don't have to keep apologizing," she settles on, fingers tapping against her kitchen counter as she waits for the water to reach a boil. "I made it out, Thomas. You saved me. That means something."
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Date: 2016-06-12 11:30 pm (UTC)"Lucille protected me," he murmurs. "And I couldn't just leave her, until I met you. Then that was all I wanted. And... I never got the chance to thank you for that."
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Date: 2016-06-15 04:18 am (UTC)"Now you have," she says, making her way back over to the couch and placing both cups on the table. "And now you're here, away from her and that old house."
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Date: 2016-06-17 02:27 am (UTC)"You're the only steady thought in my mind since I've been here," he admits. There's something on the tip of his tongue, a question. He takes a deep breath and lets it go, trying to calm himself.
"Do you think-- Could you ever love me again, Edith? Knowing who I am? Who I was?" He finally lifts his gaze to look at her, and there's something hopeful and something frightened in his eyes. "I have no right to even ask it of you. I am grateful beyond measure for your kindness, your friendship."
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Date: 2016-06-17 06:16 am (UTC)He'd had a hand in killing all those other women, and in almost killing her, too. Maybe it should be just as simple as that. It never has been, though, and everything he's said today has only ensured that stays the case.
"I don't think I ever stopped," she says, thoughtful, as much to herself as to him. "I don't know that we ever get that much say in the matter." It's not like it's as simple as choosing to flip a switch, loving someone one day and deciding not to the next. It's complicated and messy and involuntary and nothing at all like she'd once imagined. Then again, nothing really turned out like she thought it would. She never expected she would wind up in a place like this, either, and the only thing there's been to do is adjust.
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Date: 2016-06-20 03:43 am (UTC)Perhaps he ought not have said that, but he would never want her to feel-- to feel obliged. He cares for her - loves her - enough that he wants her to be happy, whatever that means. He can hope, of course.
"I'd forgotten what hope felt like before meeting you, Edith."
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Date: 2016-06-25 04:48 am (UTC)As tempting as it might be, though, if she is going to act on it, this doesn't seem like the time. Emotions are running too high. She understands what's written on his back about as well as she thinks anyone could, but the circumstances that brought him here still aren't lost to her, and she doesn't think it would be right, doing something now, prompted in part by all of that. Whatever she's made her peace with, the dead — the women who weren't as lucky as her — deserve better than that.
Looking over at him, she asks, "But you remember now?"
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Date: 2016-06-25 08:33 pm (UTC)Thomas wants badly to have a life, a real one, out from beneath the specter of his past, away from Lucille's smothering presence. He has a chance here, he has to believe he can make something of it. A simple, quiet life doesn't seem like a bad future.
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Date: 2016-06-28 04:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-01 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
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